By 
Oleh: Diko
A few weeks ago, I thought my life was in the lowest moment. I began my new journey as a teacher in Java. A place that I never imagine before. It was hard for me because I have to adapt my life style and of course my habit. In the beginning it was really hard for me to fit in here. I was crying without sounds and tears. I didn’t tell my family, especially my mother because I didn’t want, she was worried about me. I also never post any sad writing in my Instagram because of the same reason. So, I carried everything by own self.
Is it difficult? Yes. I have to face everything all alone by myself. I felt I was alone. I was lonely. Every single night I talked to my self “why do you take this chance?” “Why are you teaching here so far away from your family and friends?” I could not find the answer, then I just went sleeping. In the morning I felt empty, again because I felt like I was an alien in a different planet with my family. But even though I felt that feeling, I kept going and never stopped showing up for my life.
And you know what the magic happened after that? I felt much familiar with that feeling. Every day I meet new people, I interact with them. Step by step I felt better. I also started to talk with my close friend. He was very patient to listen to my story. He validated my feeling, and may be that the only thing that I need to first. Validating every single emotion that I feel. Not hiding or even pretending that I do not feel anything. Once I acknowledge myself about my own feeling, I can see the blind spot that I missed in the beginning of my journey here.
We all are human. It’s not okey when we try not to be that. What I mean is, you are not an angle who doesn’t feel any emotion or never suffering. You are human, and it’s really okey to accept every emotion that you feel. Not only the “positive ones” but also the “negative ones”. No matter how hard your journey is, like me in the beginning, just never stop walking. Keep going, we never know may be god is leading you to a beautiful destination through a challenging road. Find someone that can validates your feeling and listen to yourself, if you cannot find that, be that someone.
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