As life goes on, there are so many things that happen to us as a human being. There is up and down during every journey. Some days are felt so hard, and another days felt better. It is an absolute fact that we cannot be happy either sad all the times. But, out of those feeling, we always have a control to every emotion that we feel. Actually we are able to control our reaction to every little thing that comes to our live.
Now, I am going to share my thought about how to deal with grief. In Oxford Dictionary, Grief is defined as a feeling of great sadness, especially when someone dies. Yap, grief is associated with tears, sadness, death, and loss. It’s a sure that we ever felt grief, or may be one day we are going to feel that. May be it’s the grief because of losing our pet, losing our lover, or even losing our parents. When it comes to you, I give you some advices that might you deal with it.
You need to understand that there is no such as god or bad emotion. Emotion is emotion. It is what your body and your soul feel, so do not blame yourself to feel sad or angry during the grief. Do not ever listen to people who give you a toxic positivity. Imagine they say this when you lose your mother “Yeah, do not be sad. You still have a dad” or “You’re lucky, at least not both of them passed away” or even “Do not cry! Shame on your sister!”, probably when you listen to all those sentences you might think twice to express your true feeling. You are afraid that you are not being a grateful person. Then what happen next? You burry your emotion. You force yourself to smile, meanwhile you want to cry and scream so bad. It will eat up you inside. You will never heal from your grief. So, it’s so much better to express your feeling, and say louder to yourself that it is alright to feel sad, and it is fine to take some moments to truly heal your inner self.
Next, you can do to deal with grief is understanding that grieving process will be different to every person, and your journey to accept the loss is also different. You don’t have to be same with other people. You can also support yourself by taking care of yourself. In physically you may do sport, and mentally you can pray and meditate. It’s also important to have a friend to talk to. A friend that you can be honest with your own feeling, and always support you no matter what. Last, please acknowledge yourself that, this process sometimes goes back and forth, and sometimes it takes a whole life to accept completely the loss, but as long as you open your heart with this up and down, sooner or later you will learn to cope and live coexistence with your grief.
Penulis : Diko Arianto